Vol. 14, No. 3, Autumn 2012

The Inner Road to Wisdom and Healing
by Carol Ann Deans

Book Guild Publishing, Sussex, England
Hardback, 161 pages.
Available through The Book Depository: www.bookdepository.co.uk
Free shipping anywhere in the world.

Reviewed by Kurt Abraham

Writing My Way to Health.
The subtitle of The Inner Road to Wisdom and Healing by Carol Ann Deans is “Writing My Way to Health.” Carol’s path to health and well being, to psychological insight and wisdom, is truly an adventure. An important part of that adventure is keeping a spiritual journal, which includes noting many significant meditations and dreams.

Illness is a form of communication—one’s body is trying to tell the person something. It is important to get the message, which generally means not simply looking at the symptoms but getting at the deep underlying causes. This may mean exploring earlier incarnations. Where the health is not good, the whole life is disturbed. Health is one of those things that is too easy to take for granted, while illness has a way of profoundly altering one’s world view.

Seeing illness as a possible ‘inner road to wisdom and healing” is certainly discovering the soul meaning and purpose of illness. The whole “why me?” question is taken seriously and brings one to a higher level. Thinking of illness as an opportunity for growth and for eventual service is to leave self-pity behind and to expand heart, soul, and mind.

Carol’s search led her to a number of individual healers and also to groups where people were being trained to be healers. In the training process, new psychic abilities were opening up for her. She was, for example, clearly encountering “energy fields” that were almost as solid as the dense physical. Or one could say, they were as solid, or even more solid, but different in terms of sensation.

In group sessions she generally felt at home in the whole healing theme. Sometimes she wasn’t clear as to exactly how she happened to arrive at such a gathering, but once there, she felt that an inner guidance had led her to the event. “I felt safe, warm and understood by the new people I met there and I received help, healing, counseling and encouragement, as well as experiencing my first lessons in training to be a spiritual healer.” (Inner Road, 2)

Training to be a Spiritual Healer.
One such training course she attended was in Edinburgh, Scotland, and was presented by the National Federation of Spiritual Healers. At this point in her life she was “struggling with poor health.” “Her mother had just died, she had “two recent damaging relationships with unsuitable men”, she was a single mother raising a teenage son, she worked all day and collapsed in the evening, “and often slept for entire weekends.”

To add to the confusion, she and her son temporarily moved into a small apartment with a friend of Carol’s, and “did I mention I changed my job? I started working for a fascist: the kind of man who rubbed his hands in glee when there was someone to fire—Mussolini with hair.” In addition, her health got worse, son got expelled from school, and “Mussolini” wanted her gone. (Inner Road, 3)

This situation was the beginning of her long search, which is a kind of pilgrimage, although Carol doesn’t use the word. Her search began with wide reading in spiritual literature—nutrition, diet, yoga breathing exercises, spirituality, and anything related to healing. A therapist she consulted asked her what her illness looked like. It was a bewildering question, but it led to Carol suddenly seeing “ a malignant little face” floating up before her and telling her that she is “useless” in a “ nasty screechy voice.”

“I cried for a long time, but I began to realize that here was where I had to start to help myself be well. I needed to learn to heal myself, to forgive myself. The journey started right there.” (Inner Road, 4)

Her journey took her to Nature Cure, which includes a dip in a cold bath every morning, and to Psychical Research and Dowsers. Her physical world was becoming less active, but her inner psychological life was expanding. “In fact, my new spiritual awakening left a cozy warm place, like a secret love in my heart.” Creative visualization and relaxation techniques were also very helpful. (Inner Road, 7)

Her dream life took on more vivid colors and she experienced less dark chases and more experiences of flying. “The more my life lacked in action, the more jam-packed and colorful my dream life became.” (Inner Road, 8)

The Foundation for Emotional Therapy helped her on another leg of her journey, both in being healed and becoming a healer. Emotional issues are the cause of so many illnesses. A medical physician focuses on physical symptoms and generally has little understanding of the emotional factors involved. “I learned to let go of loads of my stuff and how to continually do that. I became braver at facing the emotions of others.” (Inner Road, 13)

It was at this time that she was taught to use “writing as therapy, as catharsis, and I have gratefully integrated this in my life.” (Inner Road, 16)

One of Carol’s training sessions took place on the grounds of an old Norman church, “complete with sarcophagi of Knights Templar.” The setting was rich in the history of Jacobite plots, hangings, lost treasures, visits from King William and Queen Mary, and headless ghosts roaming the halls at night. Carol stayed there often, experiencing vivid dreams as well as ghostly happenings.

“As I learned more about energy and energy fields, my consciousness was continually opening up to all sorts of different possibilities.” She became aware of the power of chanting. She was able to clearly hear-sense the nature spirits (fairies) in the flower garden. In addition she observed, “There are humans who heal animals, but there are also animals known to calm and soothe humans, as well as alerting them to danger and keeping them safe.” (Inner Road, 20)

Inner Guides. One of the inner guides whom carol contacted was the Spirit of White Eagle. At one point she asked him why he was so strict with her. He responded, “I have to be strict. You are attached to will and so am I. You must stand tall.” (Inner Road, 21)

Standing Tall became a keyword for Carol, which has much to do with Will, Strength, and Confidence. During a lecture at a healing center, Carol was inspired by a spiritual person to help the children of Romania. But how can I help, she wondered, and then again struggled with the feeling of not being able to be useful enough. The following words came to her in meditation:

“Distant healing. Powerful. You can touch the world. This is the way forward. So much healing is needed. Send you light out into the world. Romanian children are only one problem but why not start there? You can help. Everyone can help. Don’t think you can do nothing. The light is seen and we add to that light. Humankind must lead the way and we will help. It is you choice, your free will. We are not far away. We are light workers, but not of the earth. We are the boosters. You ignite the spark and we fan the flames. Spread this feeling. Promote the silent work of sending out the light. There is a fellowship of light workers. You will not be alone. Encourage people to spend a few minutes visualizing light going out from their hearts. This will also help them find their own connection with Spirit. In helping others they will help themselves—find their own path and illuminate it for others. Their vibration will be raised closer to Spirit and will be more easily helped to find their own reasons for being, which is so important for human kind today. It is important to have a reason. So many have not been able to find the silence to contact their reason to be and so life has no meaning for them. They can be helped by learning about the light and taking responsibility for their thoughts. Open to Spirit. Spirit is patiently waiting. Not so long ago you did not know your reason for being—now you do—to help others find their reason for being! A big task but you can do it and we are here to help. Just remember to ask us! You do sometimes forget to ask. Greetings. Try to make this connection regular.” (Inner Road, 25-6)

A few days later she experienced much agitation and a pounding in the heart. When trying to find out what was going on, she was told that the “etheric space of my heart is being stretched and this is affecting the physical heart. It will quiet down and love will flow in and out more easily. I am told to be aware of the ego and that nothing is done without Spirit.”

She made every effort to keep the connection alive and well by mediating on a regular basis. Due to the circumstances of life, this is not always easy. She was told in various sessions many wise and helpful things: “Working anonymously is good for dealing with the ego. Practice visualizing clients and healing their ailments. Sharpen psychic sight.”

She was also encouraged to write. “Truthful words from the heart have a different aura…. You have a responsibility to use words of truth and love. Simple words are best—ones with round auras…. Write with love and respect and the words will flow from you…. Go back to simplicity and choose words that illumine, not confuse: words that the laymen will not be frightened off by. You have had experience of trying to understand the jargon of the power-seekers, the show-offs. You have also had experience of those who are humble and use easy words to convey a complicated concept, thereby making it easy to understand. Develop the skill of using the right word.” (Inner Road, 27)

Writing for Carol is an everyday practice, when circumstances and conditions permit. It is not simply note taking or putting the day’s highlights into a journal. It is primarily a meditative practice. Writing helps one think and it helps one find clarity. It can lead to inspiration. And eventually it can lead to service. Clarity of thought, like prayer, is a service in itself. Strong and good thoughts have a healing effect on the inner planes. “Keeping paper and pencil beside me as I mediate means any elusive inspirational thought, any remarkable or uplifting idea, can be anchored. What is then written on the page is pure. No censor. Unadulterated, original, creative thought.” (Inner Road, 33)

Cutting Ties that Bind and Past Life Experiences. In Chapter 8 Carol talks about Cutting the Ties that Bind and the need to identify and let go of the “things that bind and hold us back.” There is a need not to “hold onto sorrow.” When “love is kept inside a hurt place it ferments, darkens, and turns poisonous.” Through specific visualization techniques, one is able to “let love out, mix it with the ethers.” In the process of moving from personality love (with problems of possessiveness, jealousy, and fear) to soul love (“letting love out”, giving), Carol receives guidance from the inner side. Her psychic connection proves to be alive and well and most beneficial.

Carol’s quest for health and for the gift of healing led her to past life healing. This training entails processing some past life experiences that are conditioning influences in the present life. Through the experience, Carol was able to “let go of so many emotions that no longer serve me…. This work is not for the faint-hearted, but I survived it, loved it, and joined up for the second part of the training later in the year.” (Inner Road, 52)

Her travels also took her to Brazil to experience the psychic surgery of Joao or John of God. He accepts no money or recompense for his “amazing spiritual operations.” (Inner Rd, 59)
The Writing Experience. One day after writing down her “latest little drama, I happened to notice that I used the same words in a previous entry in my notebook.” This led to re-examining several previous journal entries. Certain repetitions brought up the question as to what was she really learning. A great deal had been learned, there was no doubt about that, but there was also a need to integrate insights and pearls of guidance into the wholeness of her being. The writing experience was then taken to another level. The note taking led to seeing “the larger picture.”

“I got into the rhythm of starting the day with some gentle yoga exercises, meditation and the writing. I wrote pages of whatever came off my pen. It could be what I’d dreamt of the night before, it could be fed-upness or anger of some feeling of insight I’d received from the meditation. But write I did. I felt cleansed and liberated and able to see a day unfolding that would not be tainted by leftover negativity. I wrote myself out of chaos…. I wrote to make myself well and whole and integrated and at peace. Writing kept me in touch with myself.” (p73)

Carol, in my opinion, has written an excellent book that can be a considerable help to many people. She shares her journey along the inner road to wisdom and healing. It is a physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle. She moves with self-effacement and honesty along a difficult path. There are highs and lows—sometimes it is extraordinarily difficult simply to get up and move through what appears to be yet another bleak day. At other times she converses with the Angels and becomes the recipient of sparkling truths that are showered upon her and that thoroughly rejuvenate her spirit. She meets many teachers and many fellow travelers along the way of hard won spiritual experience. Knowledge and wisdom are rare and precious jewels. Wisdom and love are then shared with others in a heart-felt soul-to-soul way. ~

The Word
by Andrew Nellist

The word that is life
Speaks to you
In all that you see.

Many pages have been turned
Since the old Sanskrit texts,
Comforting in an unquiet hour,
In the shady villa, or in the monastery;
Books with marginal notes, theorems,
Pictures of newly discovered species,
Palimpsests, papyrus scrolls, encyclicals,
Homer, Virgil, and Dante.
We have read codex, folio, first edition,
Love letter, carving, weather forecast…
Now we have electric signs on a screen,
Interconnecting all via the internet.
In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali
Spiritual reading is discerning
The inner life and meaning
Behind the outer form and symbol.
Our world is an unfolding tale
In which we are author and hero,
The parchment of reality and nature
A script with weaving threads of fate.
We work in substance according
To karma, wisdom and desire,
With themes of transformation
In contexts of global warming.
All our books are unsealed and revealed.
Now we perceive, beyond the skull,
The language of living light.